Rockets' dead glare

So I play-tested a list for Devilsquid on Sunday. And like most games I have against Mike, this one was brutal and bloody and fun -- the way a clash between Cygnar and Madrak's band of freedom fighters should be!

He did his write-up here, and will be by to steal pics to his blog in the next day or so. I'm lagging, so he has no pics. Nyah. That's OK. I stole the lists from his blog. Except I had to correct mine. ;)

Mike's Cygnar Army (499 pts, 16VPs) Siege Brisbane Squire Defender Journeyman Warcaster Reinholdt Sword Knights [8] + UA Trenchers [9] Trencher Grenade Porter

DS Trolls (495 pts, 18 VPs) Madrak Ironhide Troll Axer Troll Impaler Troll Impaler Stone Scribe Chronicler Fell Caller Pyg Bushwackers [6] Kriel Warriors [7] + UA KW Caber Thrower

Round 1

Deployed. First one to murder all the hobbitses wins a prize.

Jen Turn 1

da Axe to Mouf Gang has developed a simple strategy to open a game: RUN. We did, to a certain extent. KWs advanced, Stone Scribe Elder read Chapter 1 on the KWs, Madrak, Impalers and Axer advanced. The Bushwhackers went off running behind Joel L Keep with Juan Cinco in hot pursuit and that was me.

Yeah, the Trolls were kinda close to those damn Trenchers.

Mike Turn 1

The Evil, Hated Sword Knights (unless, of course, I'm running them) ran. Junior advanced, cast Arcane Shield (gasp!) on the SKs. Siege put Explosivo on the Defender. Defender takes aim at Def 13 Pygs, misses and deviates onto nothing. Trenchers move, dig in and throw smoke. Woo.

Round 2

Hasn't anyone told Trenchers that smoking is bad?

Jen Turn 2

The Pygs, eager to prove their worth in battle in the hopes of someday riding on the back of a Dire Troll Blitzer, CRA on the EHSK. First CRA doesn't do enough damage to kill, but the second resolves with an EHSK vaporized into a fine, pink mist. Good Pygs. One Impalers boosts a spear hit to the face of an EHSK, then I roll snakes on damage. Hmmm. Madrak casts Surefoot on the Axer, KWs advance, as does the SSC.

You guys, get the hell out of our valley!

Mike Turn 2

Well, the Trenchers apparently took offense at the Pygs offing some of their Caspian brothers. So they took it out on the Kriel Warriors. Or tried to, rather. It went something like this:

- dead

- miss

- miss

- miss

- dude, that's my armor

- 22 damage to standard bearer's face! Ow. Not tough.

- throw smoke (boo!)

Reinholdt makes the first move in the Siege posse, Squire also stays close. Siege ground pounders something and misses. Reinholdt does his reload trick and Siege tries to put a rocket up someone's hiney and misses. Phew. Defender, taking offense at missing the previous turn, puts a boosted shot into Unnamed Impaler for 8 points of damage. EHSK move to screen Siege, Junior runs.

Round 3

We can smell the stink of Cygnar. Things must die.

Jen Turn 3

Historically, this is where the shit hits the fan when Mike and I play. Sunday was no different, only I didn't expect my own models to turn on me. Smiley, my favorite light warbeast, fails a threshold check with 1 fury. I rolled a 9. He attacks Unnamed Impaler and does 9 points of damage. Wow. Yay me. :rolleyes: Unnamed Impaler says, "Forget this shit, I'm outta here," and advances to take out his frustrations on the Defender. He chucks a spear and does 8 points back to the Defender.

Yup, he axed some questions.

Not wanting to miss out on the action, the Axer charges the Evil Hated Sword Knights and kills one. Juan Cinco, hidden behind Joel L Keep, does War Cry on the Whackers. Inspired and full of themselves, the Pygs advance on the Defender and take aim... they hit and do 8 points of damage to the 2. Of course not to be outdone, Madrak hefts Rathrok and, thanks to Far Strike, flings it at the Defender. He only does 5 points, but it's to column 6. The damage wraps and both arms fall off the Jack! w00t! He ricochets Rathrok into Siege... and misses by 1. KWs advance, the Caber Thrower takes aim at the EHSKs... and misses??? WTF? *sigh*

Fewer Evil Hated Sword Knights, but enough to hurt the Trolls.

Mike Turn 3

And here we learn why Siege is a bad motherfucker.

He pops is feat and Ground Pounders Madrak. Mike rolled well for damage, and with halved armor, there was no way Madrak was taking the hit. He used his scroll, bye-bye damage, none for me thanks. Unnamed Impaler takes it in the face and dies. As does the Stone Scribe Chronicler, who failed his tough roll. Reinholdt reloads Siege, who tries to put a rocket up Madrak's tail pipe -- and misses on a boosted attack roll! He throws Higher Ground on Trenchers and puts Explosivo on Junior. Full of himself, Junior takes aim at a KW. Man, that feat turn shot hurts. A lot. Except when you're tough, bitches!

The Trenchers, in Higher Ground, can see a lot of shit. A lot. Of Kriel Warriors. Four of them CRA on Madrak and Mike rolls boxcars to hit. Madrak takes 5 points. The rest of the Trenchers, packed in like sardines around the Grenade Porter, start lobbing grenades at my Trolls. Bastards and their AOEs.

- not tough, killed

- tough

- miss (leader)

- not tough, killed

- hit, meets armor

- piper lives

- no damage to Smiley

- Standard bearer, no dmg

- miss

Evil Hated Sword Knights charge Madrak and there are still 2 on the Axer. Thank Grimmr they don't get dismember on warlocks. First EHSK does 13 dmg to Axer, second attack does 4. Second EHSK does 2 points, then another 6 for the kill. Against Madrak, the EHSK do:

- 4 points

- miss

--

- miss

- no dmg

--

- miss

- 3 pts

Round 4: The final countdown

Hi, my name is Crusher, and I'll be your murderer today.

Jen Turn 4

Well, we're in deep shit. Madrak up to his armpits with EHSK and then, then Smiley frenzies. Again. With a 9. Again. This time, he goes after a Sword Knight. He should make short work of him. Except for rolling 3 2s for damage. Bugger. Screw him, let's play with Pygs.

Whackers move, can't hit Siege on the CRA. Four of em shoot at EHSK

- hit, no dmg

- dead

- miss

- hit, no dmg

Madrak pops his feat. Crusher. A great name. He's gotta clear out the EHSKs, or it's bad shit.

- dead

- miss (crusher)

- miss

- miss

- miss

- dead

- miss

- dead

I could not get Crusher going with him. SKs are only Def 13. My dices seriously shit the bed on this one. So I switched to my PG dice -- the all blacks with the Privateer Press logo on 'em.

KWs charge -- one into the Trenchers, the others into EHSKs. The charge on the EHSK flag misses. And here's how Crusher got his name.

- 21 dmg to Sgt, dead

- 15 dmg to Trencher, dead

- 18 dmg to Porter, dead

- 16 dmg to Trencher, dead

- 18 dmg to Trencher, dead

- 18 dmg to Trencher, dead

- 12 dmg to Trencher, not dead

Six dudes. He plowed through 6 dudes. Disgusting to say the least, can't wait to try it with Champs with War Cry! Holy crap.

And that's all I can do. 

Take a look at those dice. Those are boxcars. That's bad.

Mike Turn 4

Thankfully, Mike cut to the chase. A turn without Ground Pounder is like a day in March without snow (seriously, the weather here has been really fucking weird). Ground Pounder on Madrak, boosted everything and splat. Game over man, game over.

No, he's not just sleeping.

So, what did we learn from the game today Madrak?

• Madrak's feat is really, really good.
  
• You can survive Siege's feat turn if you remember what your own models do.
• Bushwhackers are way more fun than they should be.
• I suck at tough rolls. Again.
• Do not forsake the Privateer Dice.
• You can do well with Champions, but I miss them when they're not there.
• Mike loves Sword Knights as much as I do and does very well with melee-heavy Cygnar (*sniffle* Grasshopper is all growed up now).
• When they're fully painted, my Trolls will look damned good when they die.